"My Dad was an alcoholic, and the stigma around his alcoholism and the shame I carried was suffocating at a time when there was very little help or support for alcoholics and their families. I was in a position where I was a bystander, watching as my Dad slowly poisoned himself, eventually leading to his death.
My twenties consisted of the rather unhealthy mantra of 'Go hard or go home,' which I rarely did. I was almost always the last person standing on a night out. In my thirties, as my career advanced, there was a distinct shift in my ability and desire to continue the party lifestyle. I remember being incredibly fearful that if things continued, I would and could be following in the same footsteps as my Dad.
This was enough to scare me out of the path I was on. However, alcohol was still lurking in the background, bringing shame around my drinking; despite losing my Dad to alcoholism.
Unfortunately, in society, alcohol consumption is normalized. It's everywhere and the only drug where it's frowned upon if you don't partake.
Promotion = drinks.
Funeral = drinks.
Stressful day at the office = drinks.
It's Friyay = lunchtime drinks.
Weekend beers followed by a bottle of wine with dinner were standard. However, it was when it would sneak into the school nights, and before you know it, you're sharing a bottle of wine more nights than you're not.
This cycle and the presence of something no longer serving me became my Achilles heel, holding me back from the freedom I craved. The voice in my head about the harmful effects of alcohol on all aspects of my life was getting so loud that I could no longer ignore it.
Over five years, I became more and more sober curious.
Having tested the water of alcohol-free life a few times, including the forced sobriety of being pregnant, I knew what lay on the other side of drinking alcohol was what I'd been striving for all these years. Clarity, potential, growth, and a chance for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. Becoming alcohol-free has been the most significant act of self-love, compassion, and care. A real game-changer.
In the space I created by not drinking, I realised it was alcohol that kept me stuck in so many ways. Be it a lack of confidence, the loops of anxiety and stress, and, most importantly for me, stuck in the loop of shame.
My other critical lightbulb moment is, there is no shame when it comes to alcohol - we are all just humans trying to do the best we can.
I am now a year into being alcohol-free and living a life aligned with my values, being more purposeful and intentional. It gave me the headspace, confidence, and time to start my own business and be a fully present parent to my daughter, which was my ultimate goal.
Don't get me wrong, the tough and challenging times still exist. I just feel better prepared to tackle them now!
The only thing left to be said is the vulnerability of this post is possibly the scariest thing I've ever done (even scarier than the thought of giving up booze!). But I am doing it anyway. It took hearing about someone else's journey to sobriety to inspire enough confidence in myself to do the same. And I hope in writing this post, I can pay it forward while showing support for a community that I think is incredibly important!"
