Understanding.

To provide a little background around why I stopped drinking, I spent 8 years working in drug treatment and learning about how addiction works. I now deliver training on drug and alcohol awareness so I’m constantly reflecting on my own addictive behaviours. Having self awareness in addiction and experience of working directly with people has helped me achieve almost 6 years of abstinence.

One of the most important things I have learnt is you don’t have to be addicted to a substance to have a problem with it. I’d always told myself because I only drank recreationally that drinking wasn’t a problem, but in reality drinking was a form of escapism, and as a consequence I was less ambitious, less creative and left feeling less fulfilled.

Since I made the decision to try and better my life and abstain, I have never looked back.

Owning it.

My first year of abstinence coincided with 16 months of travel. I’d just quit my job of 6 years and was on my own on the other side of the world in Sydney, Australia. I’d taken a leap of faith to experience a new life, new faces, new places and pursue my passions. This experience was liberating, and as I followed my soul I grew as a man.

In my early twenties I’d always imagined living a sober life would be boring. But the more time that passed between me and my last drink made me realise I could not have been more wrong.

What’s boring about chasing your own dreams, travelling around the world, jumping out of planes, scuba diving in beautiful oceans, ice climbing in crevasses or kayaking in snow covered valleys?

I can honestly say I don’t miss drinking one bit.

Passion.

In 2012 I started to fall in love with fitness. This gave me more confidence, discipline, structure and I became part of a new community. After my first 12 months of training I quickly began to detest drinking. I’d dread going on a night out because I knew it would have a knock on effect with my training and throw me off track with my nutrition. The fitter I became the more I seemed to suffer with the effects of a hangover. I started to think what’s the point?

Not having to worry about being in a caloric surplus from drinking has helped keep my fitness goals and physical health in check. I’ve found it easier to stay committed because there’s no ‘new year, new me’ - it’s just routine. Picking up heavy things and putting them back down has been my vice and keeps me sane. My progress isn’t always on an upward trajectory but it’s a form of therapy.

I always show up because my physical health is important to me so I make it my number one priority.

Relationships.

There was a time when I could get caught up with what people thought about me not drinking, but I realised that the resentment directed at my decision to abstain was usually a reflection of their own relationship with drinking. Why would you be against a friend trying to change their life for the better? After distancing myself from negativity I established new and more meaningful relationships with people who are ambitious, creative and non judgemental. I’m less flakey and don’t have to worry about cancelling plans last minute and letting people down because I’m too hungover.

When it comes to dating, I’m more confident. For some, the thought of going on a date and not having a drink is terrifying as there is a reliance on drinking to make a good impression or make the first move. Having your own confidence and not having to rely on false confidence from the get go, always wins.

Preservation.

Whilst I don’t look my age (something I resented in my early twenties), not living a chaotic lifestyle has helped preserve what’s left of my youthful looks. I feel young and energetic. I’ve not had to endure days in bed hungover riddled with hangxiety and dreading the expectations of the outside world. I’m more productive of a weekend and my sleeping pattern is stable. I love sleep.

Never underestimate sleep.

I’ve also managed to preserve my finances from not spending money on drinking and everything that comes with it. With the money I’m not spending on nights out I can use it to reinvest in myself, my business and my future.

Post pandemic I’m looking forward to investing in my happiness and enjoying more experiences that provide genuine fulfilment like travel, adventures and reconnecting with the outdoors.

Memory.

Before social distancing, a time when we could experience things like weddings, gigs and travel, I was able to be present and take it all in as it was happening. I am still able to remember them like it was yesterday. It doesn’t become a blur or a distant memory, and I’m not faced with regret the following morning for something I may have said or done.

Just before Covid hit I ran my first exhibition which was an important milestone in my creative journey. It was a showing of ‘The Coastal Life’ and as the exhibition came to a close we held a closing night. During the closing night I remember feeling overwhelmed with a natural high as I welcomed people who had taken the time to come and show their support. I was able to live in the moment and was extremely grateful for the turnout.

I can look back at and cherish a lot of these experiences over the the past 6 years fondly and with total clarity.

Discipline.

Without discipline I wouldn’t have been able to achieve this goal or improve any areas of my life. When I was drinking my discipline would drift in the days following a night out. The discipline of making a decision and sticking to it for almost 6 years has helped with committing to future goals.

I’m now less of a people pleaser, I know what I want and where I want to be. Sometimes you have to be ruthless to get what’s best for you.

Discipline has helped steer me towards setting up my own business and focus on pursuing what makes me happy. The older I get the less I seek fleeting pleasures. Mondays are now my favourite day of the week as it brings an opportunity to start a fresh slate. I now have a new drive and outlook on the world around me.

Mental health.

I’m happier. That’s the most important thing, right? I’m accountable for all of my actions and if I make mistakes, I try to learn from them. My week isn’t spent looking forward to the weekend for escapism, and weekends aren’t spent filled with regret, feeling sick, anxious or on edge. I still have bad days but they’re not self inflicted.

I’m well in tune with my mood and understand how nutrition and substances can negatively effect it. I no longer take pre-workout or caffeine as I feel low in mood after the effects have worn off and they dehydrate me. Day-to-day I rely on natural endorphins to lift my mood, and if I need more energy I eat more food or drink more water.

Overall my mental health has been in a much better place and I’m more passionate about helping others. With so much uncertainty at the moment it’s comforting to have a level of consistency in my life.

Conclusion.

If you’re struggling with your mental health in lockdown and drinking or a substance is not making you happy, ask yourself would you be happier without it. Take action and do something your future self will thank you for. Find something you love and stick to it.

Photography has been my creative outlet during Covid and provided me with a positive form of escapism. It’s anchored me and given me a sense of purpose. It keeps me motivated during these dark winter months. If I notice a decline in my mood I question if I’ve trained, left the house for my hour a day, worked out or been involved in a creative project.

Some days I do less than others but I try not to be too hard on myself, as I try to navigate my way through a global pandemic.