Erin - 926 days

Hi, my name is Erin and I am two and a half years into my sober era as I like to call it.
After drinking my way through three decades I found myself at a crossroads, I knew in my innermost being that I was killing myself,not just physically but metaphorically,my soul was dying. I had lost myself almost completely to alcohol -almost . My hope, my wonder,my curiosity my zest for life was disappearing. I have three incredible children and I was always telling them that I was going to live to be 104- that I would be there for them through everything. But inside I knew if I continued to drink that there was no way that was happening!
One evening after drinking a bottle plus of wine , exhausted, tears streaming down my cheeks I asked the Universe/God for a miracle. A miracle I believed was the only way after three decades of relentless drinking that I was going to be able to stop. I begged for the strength and the courage to leave it all behind me, to start fresh, to feel alive again and to not be enslaved to a toxic substance. A week later I was sat outside the grocery shop, riddled with fear and anxiety, petrified of life . I could not physically bring myself to enter the shop, then something shifted and My miracle arrived . My journey back began. That was the end of one life and the beginning of a new one.
My greatest comfort and the only thing I could do with my anxious energy in the beginning of my sobriety was walk. I walked and I walked . Getting out and into the fresh air and being amongst the trees ,no matter the weather, grounded me and gave me purpose.
As time moved forward and the space between my last drink grew so did I. I had a lot of work to do , healing historic trauma and acknowledging some very deep wounds . But without pouring alcohol on them every night I found I had a real shot at healing them and moving forward into a new and healthy space.
Every morning I wake up with a heart bursting with gratitude. So full of thanks that I am alive that I am truly alive. I am so lucky I get an opportunity every day to share my life, my love, my joy and my story with others. And that is truly Remarkable. We all have the power within us to change, you just have to want to.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story.....”